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KaleidoscopeLGBTQ+

January 2022 Blog feature image with the title "New Year: Queer Affirmations"
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New Year Queer Affirmations 495 400 cj

New Year Queer Affirmations
January 2022 Blog header image with the title "New Year: Queer Affirmations"

New Year Queer Affirmations

By Dr. Joselyn Valle (she/ella)

The start of the New Year often represents new changes and a fresh start. Millions of Americans usually take this time to create New Year resolutions and affirmations surrounding their health and fitness goals. However, for some LGBTQIA+ young folx*, it might mean taking a new step in their identity journey. Whether it means coming out to your loved ones, trying on new pronouns, wearing gender affirming clothing, or connecting with more queer friends (even just thinking about these things is a huge step in itself). Wherever you are in the sexual and gender spectrum(s), know that Kaleidoscope is here to support you!

As you lean into your unique 2022 goals, we encourage you to practice self-care by using queer affirmations. Affirmations at their very core, are statements made with purpose that can help you become motivated to take action, self-soothe, and/or challenge negative thoughts. But why are queer affirmations so important? Sometimes LGBTQIA+ folx adopt limiting beliefs about themselves from living in a cis-hetero society and queer affirmations are a small (but mighty) way in which LGBTQIA+ folx can continue to empower themselves.

Practicing daily queer affirmations can help set your intentions and build self-esteem by focusing on what you can control: how you treat yourself. Become intentional with your queer affirmations by creating a space to connect with your authentic self. Maybe it’s the first thing you do before you get up, or the last thing you do before you go to bed, or in all those in-between moments of the day when you really need a pick-me-up. There’s no right or wrong way of practicing queer affirmations, so we invite you to play around with them. Try saying them out loud, writing them on post-it notes to place on your mirror, or even dance as you sing along with them. Other ideas include, placing a hand on your heart as you repeat each queer affirmation or ending your practice with a self-hug…because remember, you are magic.

Below are a list of 15 queer affirmations. Feel free to use these or create your own!

  • I am enough/I am queer enough
  • I accept myself as who I am
  • I will treat myself with kindness
  • I am proud of who I am
  • I get to define what queerness means to me
  • I decide when and how I will come out
  • I am worthy to take up space
  • I am valid/I am valid even if I’m not out yet
  • I choose to love myself unconditionally
  • I take pride in my identity/identities
  • I am grateful for my sexuality
  • I love myself for who I am
  • I will honor my gender journey
  • I will practice self-compassion
  • I will not shrink myself for the comfort of others

*Folx, a variation on the word folks that is meant to be an inclusive and gender-neutral way to refer to members in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Joselyn Valle, Psy.D.

Dr. Valle is a Kaleidoscope’s new bilingual therapist in support of the mental health & overall wellbeing of neurodivergent and neurotypical LGBTQIA+ folx and their allies available to provide services in Spanish también.

Webcast: The Intersection Between Autism Spectrum Disorder and LGBTQIA+
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The Intersection Between Autism Spectrum Disorder & LGBTQIA+ 495 401 cj

The Intersection Between Autism Spectrum Disorder & LGBTQIA+

The Intersection Between Autism Spectrum Disorder & LGBTQIA+

The Help Group, leaders in the field of nonpublic special education, and Kaleidoscope, a new program by The Help Group that supports neurodivergent and neurotypical LGBTQIA+/Questioning youth, young adults and their families in building healthy relationships, higher resiliency, and critically needed life skills, are excited to host a dedicated webcast covering a unique topic that you won’t want to miss!

We discussed the intersection between Autism Spectrum Disorder and LGBTQIA+, covering the following areas….

  • Overview of language/terminology
  • What the data tells us about the high degree of intersectionality between ASD and LGBTQIA identities
  • What does it mean to be a dual minority
  • How to create safe spaces for LGBTQIA autistic folks

SPEAKERS:

Moderator: Jason Bolton, PsyD – VP of Community Partnerships & Admissions

Dr. Laurie Stephens – Sr. Director of ASD & LGBTQ+ Programs

Dr. Sarah Bruce – Help Group Postdoctoral Fellow

About The Help Group’s Kaleidoscope Program Kaleidoscope supports LGBTQIA+/Questioning youth, young adults and their families in building healthy relationships, strong social connections and critically needed life skills. Through high quality, innovative programming, using the latest research and evidence-based programs, our mission is to help each person realize their unique potential and thrive!

To learn more about The Help Group or Kaleidoscope please visit…

thehelpgroup.org

KaleidoscopeLGBTQ.org

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Preparing For A Thoughtful Thanksgiving 495 401 cj

Preparing For A Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Preparing For a Thoughtful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is almost upon us, bringing with it lots of family togetherness and delicious food favorites. For many folks, this is a much-anticipated family holiday. And while we hope that all members of the Kaleidoscope community will spend Thanksgiving with supportive friends and families, we know that for some, this may be a holiday with awkward and uncomfortable interactions with family members that are still on their journey to acceptance.

If you are feeling unsure or nervous about what the Thanksgiving holiday may have in store, for yourself or for your LGBTQIA+ child, you are not alone. Holidays carry a lot of emotional weight, but LGBTQIA+ young people should enjoy the holiday while also taking good care of themselves. Here are some suggestions for setting boundaries that will allow for all family members to have an enjoyable holiday:

Talking with Grandparents:

Some older people may be unfamiliar with the terminology and pronoun use that is common in the LGBTQIA+ community. Be patient with grandparents and older relatives, as their intentions might be good. It may be helpful to talk with grandparents before the holiday. A grandparent may not yet be able to accept and support their LGBTQIA+ grandchild, but they can still be expected to interact with their grandchild in a respectful manner when attending a family gathering. Offer explicit clarification for any new names to use, what pronouns to use, and how to demonstrate affirmative support, especially regarding clothing, hairstyles, make-up and tattoos. Grandparents just may surprise you with their acceptance!

Hang out with allies:

Try to seat LGBTQIA+ young people at dinner next to someone who is supportive of them and makes them feel safe. Allow everyone to spend the time before and after the holiday meal with the people they choose to be with.

For LGBTQIA+ young people who may not have family members who are able to provide affirming support, the goal may be just getting through the holiday. Let your LGBTQIA+ child know that you are trying to make the day feel manageable.

Acknowledge that your LGBTQIA+ child may be feeling sad or defeated by a family member’s intolerance. Encourage them to text with friends that make them laugh and feel loved. This kind of connection will allow them to feel better and remind them that they have people in their corner who adore them for their authentic self. And knowing that there is someone to vent with just may give everyone the power to enjoy the holiday.

Even in the most supportive and loving families, the holidays can feel overwhelming. It is ok for all family members to take some time to be alone and re-charge. Encourage everyone to make time to get outside and go for a walk, or take a nap or read a book. It is the right thing for everyone to make self-care a priority.

Kaleidoscope is always here for you and especially during the holidays. Our weekly virtual Pride Clubs for 12-17 year olds and weekly virtual Coffee Chat for 18-24 year olds are safe spaces to share your thoughts and feelings.

Questions?

For more information

Learn More
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Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

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“Coming Out”: A Journey, Not A Destination 495 401 cj

“Coming Out”: A Journey, Not A Destination
By: Sarah Bruce

“Coming Out”: A Journey, Not A Destination

October is here, marking the return of pumpkin spice, LGBTQIA+ History Month, and National Coming Out Day! National Coming Out Day, celebrated every year on October 11, was established to raise awareness about the LGBTQIA+ community and to show support for LGBTQIA+ equality. For many, National Coming Out Day evokes feelings of pride and excitement, yet others may feel pressured and anxious about “coming out” (sharing information about their gender identity or sexual orientation with others). “Coming out” is often conceptualized as an “act of bravery” or a decision to “live openly and authentically,” which can potentially leave those who struggle with defining and sharing their gender identity and/or sexual orientation feeling ashamed and alone. Feelings associated with “coming out” are personal and unique to every individual, and “coming out” often gives rise to both positive and negative emotions.

When making decisions about if and when to “come out,” LGBTQIA+ people may consider a variety of different factors, including safety, housing, and potential reactions of family members and friends. As some families may reject LGBTQIA+ family members and refuse to allow them to live at home, many LGBTQIA+ people are unable to “come out,” because doing so could place them in an unsafe environment or lead to homelessness. They may also decide not to “come out” at a certain time due to fear of rejection and disconnection from loved ones. LGBTQIA+ people may choose not to “come out” even when their family and friends may be supportive, because they are not sure how loved ones will react and may not want to risk losing the acceptance and respect of the people they care about the most. Certain situations can also lead LGBTQIA+ people to wait to come out, such as feeling unsure about their gender identity and/or sexual orientation or experiencing negative feelings about their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

In the media and popular culture, “coming out” is often portrayed as a life-changing, singular event that either ends in crushing disappointment or a great celebration (a kiss between two gay characters on a Ferris wheel to thunderous cheers and applause in Love Simon comes to mind). However, it may be more accurate to think of “coming out” as a life-long journey rather than a final destination. “Coming out” is a decision that is made every day during every social interaction. As gender identity, sexual orientation, and pronouns may shift from day to day or multiple times over the course of a lifetime, “coming out” may also occur with the same set of people multiple times. Neurodivergent individuals who also identify as LGBTQIA+ may consider disclosing their neurodiversity to others as a form of “coming out,” such that they are engaging in “double coming out” throughout their lifetime. In addition, some individuals who identify as LGBTQIA+ decide never to “come out.”

“Coming out” is a journey that may evoke negative emotions but can also include moments of beautiful, affirming relationship growth. Every LGBTQIA+ person has a unique “coming out” timeline, and determining this timeline is a personal and complex process. LGBTQIA+ people are deserving of love, respect, acceptance, and support no matter where they are on their “coming out” journey. If you or someone you care about would like to explore “coming out” or other LGBTQIA+-related topics, seek support, or connect with others in the LGBTQIA+ community, please contact us at Kaleidoscope for more information.

Interested in joining Sarah's parent group?

Contact

Sarah is currently serving as a postdoctoral fellow specializing in working with individuals on the autism spectrum at The Help Group. Sarah earned her B.A. in psychology from CSUN, and her M.A. and Psy.D. from the PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium. She recently completed her clinical internship at Asian Americans for Community Involvement where she pursued her interest in the intersections of various cultural identities and LGBTQIA+ status, and developed the agency’s first clinical program for youth who identified as LGBTQIA+.

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Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space 495 401 cj

Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space

Every School Campus Should Be A Safe Space

It’s Back-To-School Time! Students who feel welcomed, valued, and comfortable at school are likely to be eagerly awaiting the first day of school. But for many neurodivergent and neurotypical LGBTQIA+ students, the start of a new school year may bring feelings of trepidation and anxiousness. These feelings are understandable because not all LGBTQIA+ students feel comfortable being their authentic selves at school. However, there are a number of ways for a school to create a safe environment for LGBTQIA+ students. And if your child’s school needs assistance in this area, here are suggestions parents can make so that all students feel safe, welcomed, and included in their classrooms and on their school campus,

Back in 2010, GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) launched their “Safe Space Campaign” to empower educators to make classrooms safe for LGBTQIA+ students.

A classroom can become a “safe zone” with the use of stickers or posters that display rainbow flags or portray families with same sex parents. These decorations signal to students that they can know that a classroom is a safe space and that the teacher is a safe person for LGBTQIA+ students. Students know that anti-LGBTQIA+ language will not be allowed in the classroom, and that the teacher is open to discussing LGBTQIA+ issues in the context of classwork or just in conversation.

GLSEN conducted a study to determine the effects of their campaign and found that the campaign made a big difference in LGBTQIA+ students’ belief  that their school is safe and that there are adults on campus that they can trust. Many students reported that seeing a rainbow sticker on a classroom door just made them feel better. Learning for Justice, a nonprofit organization with a goal of justice for all, also conducted a study and noted that having safe zone signage “signals to LGBTQIA+ students that the adult in that classroom or office has their back”

Another way schools feel safe is by having a LGBTQIA+ organization on campus. These are sometimes known as GSA’s (Gay/Straight Alliane or Genders & Sexualities Alliance) or Pride Clubs. These extracurricular groups are shown to positively affect ALL students on campus in that they provide support for LGBTQIA+  students which creates awareness and decreases discrimination against all students. Offering to start a group at your school or becoming an advisor for an existing one can help make your school a safe space for everyone.

A further way to signal that a school is a safe space is by adding gender pronouns in email signatures. The addition of pronouns is becoming more common in diverse and inclusive environments. This practice helps reduce mis-gendering and is an important strategy toward inclusivity. This is an example of what it looks like to add a signature to an email:

Mrs. Smith, 10th Grade English

Pronouns she/her/hers
East Ridge High School
Los Angeles, CA 90025

Another way to model self-expression and self-identification is for adults at school to share their pronouns when making an introduction. For example, “Hello, I am Principal Jones and I use he, him, his pronouns. What pronouns do you use?” By making an introduction like this, you are signaling that you are a safe person and that you are interested in meeting the person you are talking with.

Kaleidoscope wishes everyone in our community a safe and happy fall semester for everyone. If you would like to learn more about making schools feel safe for LGBTQIA+ students, or would like guidance about starting a GSA on your school campus, please reach out! You can email us at [email protected]

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Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

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Every Body Is A Beach Body! 495 400 cj

Every Body Is A Beach Body!

Every Body Is A Beach Body!

Summer is hot and only getting hotter! For some folks, the perfect place to cool down on a hot day is the beach or the pool. But for other folks, the idea of going to the beach or to the pool, and going swimming, brings up only feelings of dread.

This apprehension may have nothing to do with the activity of swimming itself, and everything to do with the attire it requires us to wear in public. Cisgender people (people whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth) experience this anxiety differently than gender non-conforming people (people who do not conform with the gender norms expected of them). Cisgender people may experience body dysphoria when they put on a bathing suit. Body dysphoria refers to a “sense of dissatisfaction with one’s body, and the perception that their body is flawed or defective.” This often relates to the concept of being “beach body ready”, which is gendered in itself. In spite of the variety of shapes and sizes that humans exist in, mainstream media and celebrity culture narrows our perception of what is beautiful or healthy by proposing that an ideal body “type” exists; one for men and one for women. Internalizing the message that we must conform to these ideal body types can lead us to gaze upon our bodies with unloving eyes.

We become aware of gendered body ideals by watching the news, flipping through gossip magazines, and listening to the radio. The media makes dieting and excessive exercise seem necessary or normal. This can impact the way we see our own bodies, and lead us to obsess over whether or not our body matches the ideal “type” associated with a gender we were assigned. For men, the ideal body has been associated with washboard abs and firm pecs. For women, body ideals seem to be constantly changing but flat stomachs and large breasts seem to remain the priority. Both genders are subject to distress under these ideals, as these bodies are hardly as attainable as People Magazine makes them seem.

Bathing suits, just like mainstream body ideals, tend to emphasize certain body parts. For example, it is considered normal for men to expose their chests and wear board shorts, whereas for women, baring a completely uncovered chest is socially unacceptable in most public places. Women’s bathing suits do not cater to people with typical male body parts, and men’s swim shorts are usually not designed for people with smaller waists and wider thighs.

All of the standards around bathing suits tend to put gender non-conforming people in a position that is often emotionally, and sometimes physically, painful. This is especially true of the high percentages of trans and nonbinary people that experience gender dysphoria, meaning distress or discomfort because of the difference between a person’s gender (assigned at birth) and their present gender identity.

In the past, conversations about bathing suits typically revolved around the word “sexy”. But now, thankfully, more brands are releasing bathing suit lines for nonbinary and trans folks. This, in turn, is making the bathing suit conversation more about comfort, and less about whatever the ‘objective’ sexiness is currently in fashion.

The good news is that change is happening. TomboyX has a swimwear line with a variety of choices for masculine people, and Outplay offers gender neutral swimwear and sportswear for all.

If a LGBTQIA+ child or teen needs assistance with choosing a swimsuit, a parent can help make the experience more comfortable by letting their child know they understand how anxiety provoking this purchase can be. Parents can help by stressing that a swimsuit should be comfortable for the wearer, and allow the wearer to participate in beach or pool type activities with confidence. And parents should try to let go of any “beliefs” regarding what is normal or socially acceptable about what bodies should wear at the beach or pool.

Summer time is joyous but fleeting. All of us at Kaleidoscope wish you fun and happiness as you spend time doing summer activities with family and friends – and we hope you do not spend a moment thinking about tired, old, out-dated ideas of what a “beach body” should look like.

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Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

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July Blog 2021 feature Image of a university with a multiple rainbow flags and a transgender flag
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LGBTQIA Friendly Colleges 495 400 cj

LGBTQIA Friendly Colleges
July Blog 2021 Header Image of a university with a rainbow flag

LGBTQIA Friendly Colleges

For many neurodivergent and neurotypical high school students, the college application process is an overwhelming one. Many soon-to-be graduating highschoolers worry that there is only one school that they are truly meant to attend. But that is a myth,  and “dream” schools simply do not exist. The reality is that most students, depending on how they choose to spend their time, can receive an excellent education by attending almost any college or university.

For neurotypical and neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ high school students, however, it is important to choose a college where they can feel safe and supported on campus. With a few exceptions, such as all-women’s colleges and HBCU’s (Historically Black Colleges and Universities), most colleges try to appeal to students who identify as cisgender and heterosexual. This is why LGBTQIA+ students — and any student with a queered identity — should consider whether or not the colleges on their list have histories of supporting the marginalized identities within their student body. Many colleges and universities now have implemented LGBTQIA+ inclusive policies and programs such as:

  • Clear non-discrimination policies in place.
  • A vibrant LGBTQIA+ student life.
  • Academic options for LGBTQIA+ classes and majors.
  • Gender-inclusive housing and restrooms.
  • LGBTQIA+ specific health care options.
  • Active campus safety trainings and procedures.

LGBTQIA+ supportive policies have helped many college campuses to become safe environments for LGBTQIA+ students to exist, learn, and grow. Still, some institutions offer LGBTQIA+ students more support than others. One way to find out about a college’s relationship with LGBTQIA+ students is by looking at their Pride Rating.  

Campus Pride, one of the leading nonprofit organizations working to create LGBTQ-friendly learning environments at colleges and universities, operates a database called the Campus Pride Index. This website can serve as an assessment tool for LGBTQIA+ students as they search for the campus they want to attend. It’s search criteria include the usuals — state, type, size, locale — with one important addition: a Pride Rating, on a scale of 1 to 5 stars. Campus Pride’s research group considers 8 factors when determining a schools Pride Rating, which are as follows:

  1. LGBTQ Policy Inclusion
  2. LGBTQ Support & Institutional Commitment
  3. LGBTQ Academic Life
  4. LGBTQ Student Life
  5. LGBTQ Housing
  6. LGBTQ Campus Safety
  7. LGBTQ Counseling & Health
  8. LGBTQ Recruitment and Retention Efforts.

Based on the presence or absence of these factors, a school is ‘ranked’ on a scale of 1 to 5 stars to indicate whether or not they have a history of supporting LGBTQIA+ students with policy, practice, and resource allocation. Being informed about which colleges are supporting the needs of LGBTQIA+ students can definitely help you narrow your choices.

If you are attending a college that has a high Pride Rating, let us know so we can share that information with our Kaleidoscope community. You can DM us on Instagram at kaleidoscopelgbtq or tweet us at @KaleidoscopeLGBTQ

We hope that everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community has the opportunity to attend a college where LGBTQIA+ students feel safe, welcomed, and valued to allow for a college experience that is positive and rewarding.

Profile Picture of Jeri Rochman

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

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June 2021 Blog feature image of two multi-colored hand-drawn rainbows
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Dual Spectrums: ASD & LGBTQIA+ 495 400 cj

Dual Spectrums: ASD & LGBTQIA+
June 2021 Blog header image of two multi-colored hand-drawn rainbows
Dual Spectrums

Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Are More Likely to Identify as LGBTQIA+

Did you know that June is Pride Month for the LGBTQIA+ community and that June 18th is Autistic Pride Day as well? Pride Month for the LGBTQIA+ community happens in the US in June to commemorate the Stonewall uprising which occurred at the end of June 1969. Now many pride events are held during June to recognize the impact LGBTQIA+ people have had on the world. Autistic Pride Day is a pride celebration for autistic people held on June 18 each year. Autistic Pride recognizes the importance of pride for autistic people and its role in bringing about positive changes in the broader society. Why are these two celebrations of Pride particularly important and interesting? It’s because individuals on the autism spectrum are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+.

New research around the intersection/overlap between ASD and transgender/ gender-nonconformity is a relatively new area of study, but there’s enough evidence to show that this is a growing community in need of a safe space. At The Help Group, there’s a new program in place called Kaleidoscope, which serves neurodivergent and neurotypical LGBTQIA+ youth and young adults, as well as their families, in developing self-acceptance, mental health stability, strong social connections, and resiliency. The program provides affirming support and a community where all are welcome and everyone belongs.

Gender, like autism, exists on a spectrum. Recent research has suggested that individuals who identify as autistic or as having autism traits are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+.

Nationwide, one in 54 children are diagnosed with autism, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And while 4.5 percent of Americans identified as part of the LGBTQ community, according to a Gallup Daily tracking survey, research and those in the autism community report much higher rates of people with autism who also are LGBTQIA+ than in the neurotypical population. Here are some interesting research findings on the overlap:

LGBTQ

  • General population: 4-5%
  • Autistic population: 15-35%

Gender

  • Identifying as trans/nonbinary is higher in autistic folks assigned female at birth
  • Autistic folks assigned female at birth more likely to identify as bi-sexual or asexual

Trans/Nonbinary

  • 4% of general population identify as trans/nonbinary
  • Trans identity is 3-6% higher in autistic folks
  • Even higher when looking at gender-nonconforming folks
  • In the US, 6.5% of autistic teens and 11% of autistic adults did not feel comfortable with their sex assigned at birth, compared with just 3 to 5 percent of the general population
  • In Netherlands 15% of autistic adults identify as trans/nonbinary
  • A 2018 Australian survey of trans teens & young adults found 22% had been diagnosed with autism, compared with 2.5% of cisgender Australian teens and young adults
  • Some experts estimate that 6 to 25.5 percent of gender-nonconforming folks are autistic

Research in this subject is relatively new. So it’s too early to speculate on possible reasons why there is a correlation, but some experts believe that social experiences are likely a main component. Compared with neurotypical people, autistic people may be less influenced by social norms and so may present their internal selves more authentically. There are a few other theories that experts are looking into as well.

What does this mean for clinicians and caregivers?

Continued research is important. It helps mental health professionals, educators, health care professionals, and parents create adequate plans for talking to autistic children about gender, sexuality, and related topics. In addition to more research, experts recommend the following….

  • Screen for ASD at gender clinics
  • Discuss gender identity and sexual orientation during intake with autistic folks
  • Improve screening tools to better identify autism among gender-nonconforming children, just as they need to be adjusted to spot the condition among children assigned female at birth
  • Ensure cross-training between gender clinics and ASD clinics
  • Train clinicians to help autistic clients understand the diversity of gender and work toward an understanding of non-binary systems of gender
  • Provide access to proper sexual education classes/resources

Where do we go from here?

Early research focused on measuring the prevalence of diverse gender identities in the autism community, but we should now be asking how to best to support autistic people who are gender-nonconforming.

If you’re not familiar with The Help Group’s Kaleidoscope program, which launched in 2019, here’s a bit more information on the program – Kaleidoscope supports LGBTQIA+/Questioning and neurodiverse youth, young adults and their families in building healthy relationships, strong social connections and critically needed life skills. Through high quality, innovative programming, using the latest research and evidence-based programs, Kaleidoscope’s mission is to help each person realize their unique potential and thrive! Kaleidoscope offers therapy services, support groups, coaching, and social events.

At The Help Group, we think it is crucial for LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse young people to engage in communities comprised of people who can relate to them and provide a deep sense of validation. And for those family members, allies, and providers of LGBTQIA+ neurodiverse individuals, it is our responsibility to learn how to create a more accepting and safe space for them to thrive. Just as the name indicates, a kaleidoscope is made up of all different colors, shapes, and sizes. When turned slightly, it allows for a new and beautiful perspective to emerge. Kaleidoscope is grounded in the inclusive belief that every young person deserves a great future through the celebration of strengths in differences.

To learn more about the program, visit www.KaleidoscopeLGBTQ.org.

Profile Picture of Jeri Rochman

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS

Jeri Rochman, JD, MS, is the Advance LA Director of Community Outreach, a Life Skills Coach, National Board Certified Counselor and Certified Parent Educator. Interested in learning more about Advance LA’s services?

Contact

EmailWebsite
Profile Picture of Laurie Stephens

Dr. Laurie Stephens

Senior Director of Autism and LGBTQ+ Programs
Dr. Laurie Stephens, a developmental psychologist, has worked with children on the autism spectrum for more than 25 years. She is The Help Group’s Senior Director of Autism Programs.

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What Pride Means to Me 495 401 cj

What Pride Means to Me
June 2021 Blog Header Image
PRIDE MONTH

What Pride Means to Me

Celebrating Pride can look different for each person who stands with the LGBTQIA+ community. Its general sentiment is made visible in the month of June, as parades and festivals exhibit colorful decorations with the rainbow flag as a symbolic representation. Pride-related events such as parades, art exhibits, parties, and media events serve to strengthen the community by providing its members with a marked time and place to unite with a larger body of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Pride events were started to improve the visibility, acceptance, and legal protections of the LGBTQIA+ community. While it may have started with a political nature, many Pride events are now more local celebrations drawing large attendance of members of the LGBTQIA+ community as well as their families and allies.

Those outside of the community may notice the June celebration of Pride because of its decorative and performative elements. These elements such as the floats, dancers, and singers that can be found at the West Hollywood parade contribute to the communal empowerment that takes place at these gatherings. However, as a young queer, I believe there is much more to pride than what can be glimpsed on its surface.

As June approaches, I encourage members of the LGBTQIA+ community of all ages to think deeply about how they practice pride on a personal level. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to a party and celebrate on a public, communal level. But I am suggesting that the entire community will benefit from each members’ contemplation of what it looks like to act with pride. Though we may overlap, pride looks different for everyone in practice.

For me, pride looks like not being afraid to ask for what I need, whether that be time, space, or to be called something different from what people seem to know me as. For many, pride is what must emerge so we can have the confidence to not allow what others may think to prevent us from living authentically. We can practice pride on an individual level, by accepting our bodies for what they are or altering them in affirmation of what we know ourselves to be. We can practice pride on an interactive level, and by maintaining our dignity, show others how to find their own.

This June, I hope everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community will celebrate Pride by walking joyfully through the world with it. From all of us at Kaleidoscope we wish you Happy Pride!

May 2021 blog feature image transgender flag graphic with moon phases
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When It’s Not A Phase 495 400 cj

When It’s Not A Phase
May 2021 blog feature image transgender flag graphic with moon phases

When It’s Not A Phase

Parents of transgender children are often asked, “When did you suspect?” The answer to that question varies as no two kids are alike. But a common theme often emerges: there wasn’t one single instance, but rather dozens of small signs that added up to “suspecting.”

Some examples of “signs” that parents have noticed is the insistence on stereotypical “girl” or “boy” clothing, hair styles, and toys that do not correlate to the child’s biological gender at birth. Many parents share that when their child is told they cannot wear the clothes they prefer, or not allowed to play with certain toys, their child expresses intense sadness. But when allowed to express themselves in the clothing and hairstyles of their choosing, their child is filled with joy. The collection of these signs point to an unwavering truth: their child knows their gender identity.

It is important to acknowledge when a child is asserting things about themselves that are a part of their identity. For some parents this can be overwhelming and confusing.

Researchers at the University of Washington found that gender identity (the concept of knowing whether one’s self is male, female, or non-binary) is as strong in transgender  kids, including those who are neurodiverse, as it is among typically developing children. An interesting component of this study is that transgender children’s gender development mirrors that of neurotypical and neurodiverse children, and that they can start to identify with clothes and toys in line with their authentic gender from a rather young age.

Gender – defined

 An infant does not know what it means to be a boy or girl. They discover the meaning of these words from their parents, older children, and the people in their lives. Young children also receive a lot of messages from their culture and the media: boys wear blue clothes and like sports, and girls wear pink and like to play with dolls. But a person’s actual gender does not exist in the binary terms of boy/girl and male/female. Rather, gender is more of a spectrum with people expressing and identifying with degrees of masculinity and femininity. Feeling comfortable with our own gender identity and expression is vital to the way we see ourselves and how we engage with the world.

A transgender person identifies along this spectrum, but also identifies as a gender different from the one biologically assigned based on genitalia. A child is deemed to be transgender by behavior and expression that is consistent, insistent, and persistent about their identity. A transgender child will typically insist over the course of many years that they are not the gender they were assigned at birth.

For transgender kids, family and commuinity support is essential to establish comfort in their true sense of self. Research has shown that when a young person receives affirmative support from parents, grandparents, family members, teachers, and peers, there is greatly improved mental health and well-being. It is important to point out that the research shows that transgender young people are at a greater risk of suicide as a result of rejection and bullying. The reality is, support for a transgender child can make all of the difference to insuring that your child is thriving.

Parenting a Transgender Child

Parents of transgender children go through a transition process along with their child, and that transition carries with it a lot of emotions. A parent may feel genuinely happy and excited for their child as they embark on this new journey, but there may also be feelings of confusion, sadness, anger, and loss. When a child tells their parents that they are not the gender they were biologically born with, a parent can feel frightened and unsure about what the future may hold for their child. Parents of transgender children should remind themselves that all feelings about this experience are valid.

Experts suggest that parents be kind to themselves but also work through their emotions away from their child and perhaps with the care of a mental health professional. Each family member may react differently and come to acceptance at different times. Talking about this experience with a therapist can be helpful. The Kaleidoscope Program provides therapeutic services for neurotypical and neurodiverse transgender children, and their parents. Our therapists have expertise with supporting neurotypical and neurodiverse transgender children and their families, and can provide guidance and tools to assist with the transition.

It may not be a phase.

While many children and teens go through “phases” such as dying their hair black, or being obsessed with a celebrity, this is very different than being transgender. It can be very hurtful for a transgender child if a parent dismisses their thoughts and behavior as a phase. Many transgender children rely on their parents and family members for support and acceptance, as they may not experience acceptance in environments outside of the home.

Parents can show support for their transgender child in a number of ways. To begin, parents should try to make a true effort to use the names and pronouns that align with their child’s gender identity. Further, parents can advocate for their child at their school to make sure there are systems in place that will support and protect their child such as gender neutral bathrooms and locker room spaces. And most importantly, assure your child that they have your unconditional love and support – always.

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Thank you Bryan for your insight and guidance. If you are interested in joining our Kaleidoscope Parent Group or have questions about the group, please email.

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